


Silence in the library

by lossit_bay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lossit_bay/pseuds/lossit_bay
Summary: Hyunjin flirts with the librarian and finds himself in a narrative he didn't plan for.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 72
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I have many WIPs but i cannot be stopped

Hyunjin knew exactly where the feminist section of the library was, even if it wasn't blatantly labelled as such, but the librarian was cute and also male and sometimes you just had to try a little harder to make a good first impression.

"Hi!" Hyunjin said with a winning smile, but quietly because this was a library. "I've read _Harmless Person to You_ and I really enjoyed it. I was wondering if you have books similar to that I could try?"

The librarian narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin, sizing him up. Hyunjin knew what he looked like- pretty and rich- and he was, undeniably, but he was also more than that despite what his joint degree in English and International Relations said. 

The librarian was cute more than he was pretty with a natural pout on his lips and fluffy brown hair and presumably not rich considering he was working in the local library during term time. He was dressed nicely though, his name tag clasped perfectly straight on the breast of his sky blue shirt.

"Can you say that title again?" the librarian asked. Seungmin, his name tag read. He probably didn't believe Hyunjin wanted that kind of book. Or maybe he was testing him.

" _Harmless Person to You_ " Hyunjin said again. "Have you read it? I liked Yi-gyeong and Suyi’s story, even though it was sad."

Seungmin's eyebrows shot up. 

_Yeah,_ Hyunjin thought smugly. _I have read it._

"If you got it out here then you know exactly where to look," Seungmin said.

_Damn. He had him there._

Hyunjin's guilt must have shown on his face because Seungmin gave him a sassy little wave in farewell. "When you've found what you're looking for you can use your card to check it out over there," Seungmin added politely, pointing to the self-scanners. "I'm sure you know how they work."

Hyunjin nodded and turned away before his face could fall. He'd never been rejected so elegantly before. How could someone so cute be so cruel? Well, actually he knew exactly how- Jeongin, his best friend from high school, was a perfect blend of cute and cruel. Maybe he and Seungmin would be friends if they ever met.

As he ambled towards the feminist section (he had to follow through on his lie now to retain some level of dignity) he pulled out his phone and messaged the younger boy.

' _met someone nearly as mean to me as you today'_

 _'minho-hyung?'_ Jeongin replied almost immediately. _'or have you bothered other people with your ugly face?'_

Ok, Hyunjin had walked into that one. ' _innie why must you bully me in this way ㅠㅠ'_ he sent back.

' _someone's gotta,'_ Jeongin replied. ' _and minho-hyung is at work so the honour falls to me. who made you cry? can I go kick them in the shins?'_

Jeongin used to kick people in the shins for Hyunjin when they were kids and Jeongin was too short to reach their faces. He could reach most people's faces now but Hyunjin didn't want to be the person to enlighten him and have to bail Jeongin out of prison as a consequence.

' _i didn't CRY!'_ Hyunjin replied. ' _and no, you are not kicking ANYONE in the shins'_

He reached the shelf he'd visited before and pocketed his phone before crouching down to read the titles. One was mis-shelved, some kids non-fiction book, and it bugged him so he took it out and went on a wander to find its real home. He had to pass by Seungmin's desk to reach the children's section and Seungmin looked at the book in his hands and then up at Hyunjin in judgement.

"It was shelved wrong!" Hyunjin exclaimed in defense. "I'm putting it back." Really, this was Seungmin's job so he had no reason to be looking at Hyunjin like that. Seungmin beckoned him over and took the book to scan it. "I'm not taking it out," Hyunjin said, just so they were clear that _'Girls Are Best'_ was not his first choice in literature. Seungmin ignored him.

"It's been requested," Seungmin said, looking up from his screen, his face impassive. "Thank you for finding it."

"N-no problem," Hyunjin stuttered. "I'm gonna...go…" he pointed awkwardly back in the direction he'd come from. 

"Did you read the first collection?" Seubgmin asked, just as Hyunjin stepped away to leave. " _Shoko’s Smile._ It won an award.”

“Huh?” he said eloquently.

Seungmin typed on his keyboard and spun the monitor around to face Hyunjin. “ _Shoko’s Smile.”_ The monitor displayed a book cover with a minimalist design like the one Hyunjin knew. _“_ It’s by the same author, also kinda sad. Our copy is on loan right now but I can request it for you if you’d like?” He was testing Hyunjin. 

“Yes, please,” Hyunjin said though he really didn’t have time to come back to the library on a different day to pick it up or any time to read it. He’d just had an afternoon off today and was looking for a peaceful solitary activity. But then he’d tried to flirt with a librarian so it was really his own fault he ended up with homework.

Seungmin spun his monitor back around again and held out his hand. Did he want a low five? Did he want to hold Hyunjin’s hand? Seungmin looked up after he clicked his mouse a couple of times. “Your library card?” he asked, eyes judging Hyunjin again.

“Oh!” Hyunjin said and fumbled to take his backpack off and locate his wallet. His library card, of course! _Jesus fucking christ, Hyunjin, you hopeless gay._ “Here!” he said, shoving the card at Seungmin.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” Seungmin mumbled as he scanned it. He handed the card back. His gaze lingered for a moment on the thread bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist as their hands met. The bracelet often clashed with Hyunjin’s outfits as it did today but it was small and multicoloured so Hyunjin kept it on. The people who needed to see it would notice it and to those who didn’t it was just meaningless string. Seungmin noticing it didn’t really mean anything but Hyunjin’s heart still skipped a beat. “You’ll get an email when it’s ready to collect, Hyunjin,” Seungmin said, looking up and meeting his eyes. “It’s due back in two weeks but,” he shrugged cutely, “some people can never manage to return things on time.”

“Thanks,” Hyunjin said. “Seungmin.” He slipped his library card in his pocket and walked to the door as quickly as he could without hurrying. There was no way he was going to relax with a book now. Maybe he should go for a swim- practice sprints until his muscles screamed louder than his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Hyunjin got the email from Seungmin just over a week later, in the middle of a tutorial. Well... Realistically, the email was automated and not from Seungmin himself but Hyunjin thought of the cute, sharp-tongued librarian all the same. He thought about Seungmin so much he was called out for not paying attention.

“Something particularly engaging between your legs, Hwang?” the professor asked mockly. The innuendo was not missed by Hyunjin or his classmates, who snickered quietly, and it sounded even more crude in English- the required language for the afternoon. However, Hyunjin had obviously been looking at his phone so there was no need for her to insinuate that he was some kind of degenerate.

“The book I had reserved at the library has become available,” he answered sweetly. “I apologize for being distracted.” _Yeah, bitch. I wasn’t texting._

“Oh really,” she replied, clearly doubting him. That was fair. Generic emails shouldn’t distract anybody. “Which novel? Perhaps you can give a review to the class next week?” They were in an English tutorial and while, yes, there was a tremendous wealth of literature in English, Koreans could write moving novels too.

“ _Shoko’s Smile,”_ Hyunjin said, sliding his unlocked phone across the table so she could see he had indeed just received an email.

The professor looked taken aback and, beside Hyunjin, his classmate, Jisung, elbowed him, whispering, _“Dude, what the fuck?”_

Their professor handed Hyunjin his phone back. “Regardless of the merit of your distraction, Hwang, you are required to devote your full attention to the topic at hand. You have now distracted the entire class-” _**You** distracted them,_ Hyunjin thought. _They don’t give a shit if I look at my phone. “-_ and so to discourage a repeat offense I would like you to turn in a five-hundred word summary of _Shoko’s Smile_ at the next tutorial. If you truly are as desperate to read it as you claim you should have finished it by then.”

Hyunjin couldn’t believe his luck but he knew she wasn’t bluffing so he noted the extra work in his phone before putting it away in his bag until the end. First Seungmin gave him extra homework to read the damn book and now he had to write a review of it! In _English!_ Maybe Chan had read it and could save him a lot of time. He could probably just get Chan to blabber on as well without actually telling him he was trying to cheat out of homework. Jisung elbowed him again and Hyunjin came out of his thoughts to at least pretend to follow the rest of the lesson.

***

“Bro!” Jisung said, when they were released and allowed to speak in Korean again. Only Han Jisung would keep speaking in English. “You actually got distracted by a library email? How lame are you?”

Hyunjin shoved Jisung in front of him into the corridor so they could at least move away from hell as he was bullied. “I was reading something else,” he lied. “I thought that might get me a free pass but clearly not. _UUUUUUURGH!”_ he screamed as he realised how little free time he had had before this bullshit was added and how much less he would have now. _“_ I’m going to have to skip your gig this Friday if shit keeps piling up like this.”

“What? _No!”_ Jisung exclaimed, turning on the stairs to prod a finger in Hyunjin’s chest. At this angle he had the rare height advantage on Hyunjin. “I need you there for hype.”

“You do hype just fine on your own,” Hyunjin said, pushing past him. 

“Come on, bro,” Jisung said, grabbing Hyunjin’s hand and trailing after him, practically forcing Hyunjin to drag him up the stairs. “Five hundred words isn’t a lot. You can totally make the gig.”

“Are you forgetting that I have to read the whole fucking book first?” Hyunjin said. He tried to shake Jisung off but it didn’t work so he just adjusted his grip so they were holding hands properly and picked up the pace. Jisung could jog for all he cared. 

“Wait! Where are we going?” Jisung asked breathlessly as they reached the main road and Hyunjin headed downhill, away from campus.

“ _I_ am going to the library to get a book,”Hyunjin said pointedly. “ _You_ can run in whatever direction your little heart desires.”

“But the library is that way?” Jisung said, stumbling as he tried to point over his shoulder. Hyunjin hauled him up by his arm before he could eat the tarmac.

“The public library,” Hyunjin said, “is this way.”

“Buuut-” Jisung whined. He stopped there, probably having too many different things to complain about.

“We can meet in the uni library after dinner,” Hyunjin offered. That perked Jisung up.

“You’re the best, Hyunnie!” he declared and bounced up to attack Hyunjin’s cheek with a wet kiss as they walked. Hyunjin dropped his hand and used his sleeve to wipe his cheek clean. Jisung was already gone. He was a homebody and didn’t like leaving the bubble of campus and his accommodation if he could help it. Hyunjin had already reached the crossroads that marked the end of Jisung’s territory. 

He made it to the library just before closing and rushed through the doors to Seungmin’s desk. The _information_ desk. Seungmin had nothing to do with this. Except Seungmin was there now, filling up a trolley using a reference system Hyunjin couldn’t follow. He didn’t look up as Hyunjin stopped at the desk and Hyunjin rocked back on his heels as he waited, trying to catch his breath.

Seungmin ignored him for a little longer than would normally be polite so Hyunjin drummed his fingers on the desk to catch his attention. It took Seungmin another few _long_ seconds before he turned around and straightened to greet Hyunjin.

“ _Shoko’s Smile?”_ he said.

“Hyunjin, actually,” Hyunjin said with an easy smile, “but if you have the book I’ll take it.”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes but pulled the book he had reserved for Hyunjin out from under the desk and handed it to him. “We’re closing.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just hyunsung friendship for 1k words

Jisung screamed and fell sideways out of his chair when Hyunjin sneaked up behind him in the university library. Hyunjin promptly stole his seat.

“Why would you do that to me?” Jisung wailed from the floor, still too shocked to realise he’d attracted the attention of every bored student in the vicinity- even the ones with noise-cancelling headphones.

“Revenge,” Hyunjin replied, scooting Jisung’s seat back to the desk. “Were you watching alien conspiritories again?” he asked, picking up Jisung’s discarded earphones to listen to the commentary attached to the youtube video playing on the screen. “Dude, that’s wasting university resources.”

“It’s educational,” Jisung argued. He stood up and tried to push Hyunjin from his seat but he only sent him spinning across the room.

“Sorry,” Hyunjin apologised cheerfully to the students at the next desk as he stopped a little too close to them. He tried to use his feet to shuffle back to Jisung’s desk without relinquishing the chair and one boy smiled at him.

“Do you want a push?” he offered.

“That would be great,” Hyunjin said, spinning so the boy had access to the backrest. “Aim straight for that squirrel-looking boy there.” He pointed at Jisung, who seemed to finally have realised how much of a disturbance he was causing and was squatted by his computer to hide from the curious onlookers across the room. The boy gave Hyunjin a particularly good push (maybe he played sport or something) and Jisung had to hold out his hands to stop being bowled over. He sat on Hyunjin’s lap and pulled them to the desk to pick up his earphone and rewind his video to the point he was at before Hyunjin joined.

Hyunjin buzzed him in the sides. “Are you really not going to work? What was the point of me coming to meet you? I could have just stayed home.”

“You know I can’t concentrate on my own,” Jisung answered. “And you’ve got work to do as well. You can’t just waste your evening binging dramas if you’re going to come to my gig on Friday.”

“Ah. You almost sounded like you cared about me for a second.”

“I know.,” Hyunjin could hear the grin in Jisung’s voice. “Close one.”

***

Eventually Hyunjin got his own seat and they worked quietly on an essay that the whole class was assigned. Hyunjin knew he should really switch to writing his essay from his other class that was due on the same week and would be much harder to rush but he was in a nice rhythm so he continued with his English essay. Jisung’s dictionary was somehow much better than his anyway. Not that Jisung was using his dictionary.

“Stop smiling at your phone,” Hyunjin complained to him. “That’s not studying.” Their willingness to call each other out was a large part of what made them good study partners.

“I texted Channie-hyung about an English proverb,” Jisung replied. “I’m waiting for him to reply.”

“You could be waiting hours,” Hyunjin pointed out. Chan was always eager to help his dongsaengs and he had an incredibly diverse set of skills but he was a part of a million clubs and societies so he might not get a chance to read his messages until much later in the night.

“Does he not have band tonight?”

“Channie-hyung is in a band?” Jisung asked. He clutched his heart. “The betrayal.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “Not A band. _Band._ Like, _orchestra_ band. One of the music groups needed extra percussionists and I think he volunteered. Big Band maybe? I think that’s a Wednesday.”

“Where else am I supposed to find an English speaker?” Jisung complained, unbothered by Chan’s exploits as long as he wasn’t sharing his creative juices with anybody else. “I can’t actually _learn_ English.”

“Eric?” Hyunjin suggested.

“He’d give me the wrong answer on purpose,” Jisung grumbled. “Fuck this essay. I’m going to write lyrics.” He flipped over the page on his battered notebook and wrote the date and time at the top of the page.

“For class?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung also studied Music Production. He had really only taken English in first year as easy credits before discovering that there was a lot more to English than he’d first realised. Hyunjin was honestly surprised he’d not dropped it yet but he was glad for the company.

“Sure,” Jisung said, which meant it was definitely not for class. Hyunjin wasn’t going to suffer English alone so he dropped Jisung’s dictionary to the desk and saved his clunky essay. Lucky for him, it wasn’t the only English coursework he had to do. He pulled _Shoko’s Smile_ from his bag and kicked his feet up into Jisung’s lap.

“Is that the book you got in trouble for?” Jisung asked as Hyunjin made himself comfortable.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin replied with a sigh. Honestly, he better get at least one decent conversation out of Seungmin for all this hassle. Earlier in the evening Seungmin had shut down any attempt at smalltalk from him because it was closing time and Hyunjin hadn’t wanted to risk angering him so he’d fled as soon as he’d received the book. Another opportunity wasted.

There were no cute notes from the librarian as there would have been in a drama. It was just a standard library book with standard questionable fingerprint marks on the pages. Hyunjin did his best to ignore them and got engrossed in the first story.

***

“-jin. Hyunjin,” Jisung said, waving a hand between Hyunjin’s eyes and the page he was reading. It took Hyunjin a moment to detach from the emotions pulling him deeper and blink his way back into the familiar surroundings of the library. It was a lot quieter now and it was dark outside the windows.

“That good, huh?” Jisung asked teasingly. “You’re nearly done.”

Hyunjin marked his place and looked down the spine of the book. He was more than halfway finished. It made sense, he supposed. All the stories in vivid details that were in his head and all the lives he hadn’t lived had to have come from somewhere.

“I guess,” Hyunjin answered quietly and opened the _Shoko’s Smile_ back to his place again.

“Wait, are you going to keep reading?” Jisung asked. “Dude it’s like ten pm. Go home.”

“You go home,” Hyunjin mumbled as he raced to reach the end of the paragraph before Jisung interrupted him again.

“I am!” Jisung said. “I finished a song and wrote another three paragraphs of my English essay. I’m concerned you’re just going to sit hunched in that chair for the next three hours until you’re done with the whole book.”

Hyunjin glanced up guiltily.

“Hyunnie,” Jisung whined. “Come on. You have a whole week to finish it.” He gripped the top of the book and tugged it slowly upwards but Hyunjin was taller than him and just stood to keep reading. “Wait, have you been crying?” Jisung asked suddenly, letting go of the book. “Hyunnie?”

“It’s so sad,” Hyunjin whispered. And it kept being sad but it pulled him inexplicably deeper. God, why was life so _sad_.

Jisung carefully took the book from his hands, memorised the page number, and set it down, and then he pulled Hyunjin into a hug. Hyunjin clung to him tightly. Everything felt fragile. Jisung was one of his closest friends but would that last? Would they even talk to each other again once Jisung dropped English next year? Would he lose everything he loved?

“Do you want to come over for a bit?” Jisung asked as he pulled back. “I don’t want you to get lost in your head again.” It was normally dramas that did it but Hyunjin was known for getting too invested in fantasy worlds, in fantasy lifes and fantasy emotions, to the point he couldn’t reconnect to real life for a few days. Jisung was sweet to be worried about him. Hyunjin normally just lived in a haze for a while.

“You’re coming to mine,” Jisung decided, packing up Hyunjin’s things. “I have a new song I’m working on I think you’ll like.”

“3RACHA?” Hyunjin enquired after the rap group, or ‘crew’, that Jisung was a part of. They were slowly starting to gain popularity around campus.

Jisung shook his head and handed Hyunjin his bag and jacket. “Nah, it’s a ballad. Just me singing.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin said. He wasn’t sure what else to say. He’d heard Jisung’s solo music before and it was normally softer than the high-energy rap of 3RACHA but he didn’t think he’d ever heard Jisung _sing_ sing on track.

“It’s whatever,” Jisung mumbled as they hit the stairs. “You can tell me if it’s shit.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” Hyunjin assured him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda a filler chapter sorry

Hyunjin ended up staying over at Jisung’s apartment. It wasn’t that unusual but normally they had the excuse of alcohol and the privilege of an empty morning in which to slowly rejoin the world. They had no such luck that morning as Jisung’s alarm went off at nine thirty and he slapped Hyunjin across the face as he reached out to turn it off.

“What the fuck?” Hyunjin said, too sleepy for the words to have any heat behind them.

“I have class,” Jisung moaned. He got his alarm to stop and turned his face into Hyunjin’s shoulder to whine pitifully. “I don’t wanna!”

Hyunjin pushed him off. “I don’t wanna either and I don’t have class ‘til one. I could still be asleep right now.”

Jisung flung the duvet off the both of them, his resolve much stronger than Hyunjin’s would be in his position. “Sorry dude but I have to leave in fifteen minutes so you gotta get up or I lock you inside my apartment when I leave.” Jisung lived in some stupidly old worn-down building and his door didn’t automatically lock behind him. It was great for Jisung who would lock himself out all the time otherwise but awful for Hyunjin at that moment.

“I hate you,” Hyunjin said, going limp as Jisung tried to push him out of the bed in front of him.

“I hate you too, Honey,” Jisung replied. “I’d offer you breakfast but in these trying times all I can give you is a protein shake made with tap water.”

“That sounds disgusting,” Hyunjin said as he reluctantly put on his jeans from the day before. He’d go straight home to change and shower but right now he felt gross.

“Oh, it is,” Jisung said cheerfully. “I’m gonna have to drink one though because I’m meeting Channie-hyung straight after class and I’ll be starving otherwise.”

Hyunjin mostly sat and watched as Jisung buzzed around him getting ready. Jisung actually gagged on his protein shake but he finished it all the same and chased it with more water. 

“Urgh, my stomach is all sloshy,” Jisung said, doing a little dance so Hyunjin could actually hear the water moving about. “I need to buy real food today.” 

Hyunjin couldn’t agree more. When Jisung was ready he followed him out the door and watched the other boy join the flow of students towards class and stumble over a bump in the pavement before hurrying on. It was really too early for Hyunjin to be functioning but the cool morning air woke him up enough that by the time he made it back to his own apartment there was no point trying to go back to bed. Even after taking his time showering, eating and getting ready for the day he still had a weird chunk of time he would normally spend sleeping. Not feeling like starting one of his essays and with nothing else to do, Hyunjin pulled out _Shoko’s Smile_ and found the page he left off at.

He finished the book just in time to rush to class. He shouldn’t have bothered to rush anyway because his mind was still in the stories he’d just read and he didn’t follow a single slide of the professor’s presentation. Another lecture to slog through by himself in the library. Great. Thoughts of the library reminded him of Jisung and he pulled out his phone to text Chan.

 _‘hyung, have you fed sung yet?’_ he typed. ‘ _he only had protein powder for breakfast’_

 _‘dw i fed him’_ Chan replied. _‘thanx for looking out for him hyunjiniiiieee’_

‘ _snitch,’_ Jisung texted Hyunjin at the same time. ‘ _i'm getting a priv lect now’_

Hyunjin sent him back the blowing kiss hearts emoji and headed for the library. He’d buy food there and work until dinner time. If he could just get as much as possible done in the next two days he could go to 3RACHA’s gig on Friday and take Saturday off for whatever madness happened as it inevitably did. He really needed Friday to come quickly.

He opened the slides from the lecture he’d just been at and immediately shut them again. Nope. Today was not a day for learning, certainly not for learning _economics._ Today was a day for crying over fictional characters, preferably in written English so his anguish was at least productive. Seungmin had a lot to answer for. Hyunjin was now behind in two of his classes because of his recommendation. He finished the book summary though. It was a little more than five hundred words because he had to introduce each individual story and there were too many details he wanted to mention but considering it wasn’t graded he wasn’t too bothered with making his professor read a little more.

Hyunjin was now considering a trip to the public library to return _Shoko’s Smile_ since his review was finished. It was early evening, around the same time he had seen Seungmin both times before and he hoped to get a fresh shot at conversation with the boy. If Seungmin wasn’t there he could always just leave again with Seungmin none the wiser and return another day with the same excuse for his visit. Hyunjin was trying to debate if he was really desperate to walk all that way in the wrong direction from his apartment for a chance at conversation with a boy that had done no more than his job required in previous encounters when his phone rang.

It was Chan and his name on the screen was enough to remind Hyunjin that he did in fact have other commitments. Seungmin would, unfortunately, have to wait for his next dealing with Hyunjin.

“Hey, Hyung,” Hyunjin answered. “Chicken?”

 _“Chicken,_ ” Chan confirmed. “ _We’ve just finished a track so I’m treating Bin and Sung. I’ll pay for yours too if you're fast.”_

“I’m zooming,” Hyunjin replied, scrambling to pack everything away. Their weekly trip to a chicken shop before Wednesday swim training was the only time Hyunjin reliably saw Bang Chan and that made it precious. During training didn’t count because they were under the water most of the time and Hyunjin would just see the white bubbles of Chan’s feet as he sped away in front of him.

Hyunjin slung his hastily packed bag onto his back and ran down the stairs to get to the front desk as fast as possible. He normally met Chan at the main gate and the library was much closer to it than the music producing rooms in the union but free food was on the line so he didn’t want to risk making Chan wait. He got there first, by luck of the pedestrian traffic light, and he could see the three producers making their way down the street.

Jisung hugged him as they met. “Did you go back to sleep at yours?” he asked. The others didn’t seem surprised so Jisung must have told them Hyunjin slept over the night before. 

“Nah, I finished _Shoko’s Smile,”_ Hyunjin replied, linking their arms so they could walk in step behind Chan and Changbin. “Cried again. It fucked me over for the whole day so I’m behind in another class now.”

“Hyunjinniieeee,” Jisung whined, pulling on his arm. “You better still come to our gig.”

“Got a lot of work to do?” Changbin turned to ask sympathetically. “Put uni work first if you need to. We know you support us- don’t feel you have to come to every gig.”

“No, it’s good fun. I want to go,” Hyunjin said firmly. He couldn’t let his friends think he only came because he felt obligated to. In truth, they put on a fantastic show and he felt lucky to hear them in tiny venues because he could tell they were going to blow up soon. Already tickets to a 3RACHA gig were selling out fast and he only had a guaranteed spot because Jisung always put him on the guest list.

“What work do you have?” Chan asked, always willing to help even though as a fourth year he really had zero spare time to be giving anybody.

“Economics,” Hyunjin said. “A lecture to catch up on from today. I’ll see if I can get a recording of it from my classmate though. And the essay me and Sung have for English.”

“I can-”

“No, Hyung,” Hyunjin cut him off. “You can read the final draft if you want to but what I have so far would be shit even in Korean. It would kill off your brain cells if I made you read it now.”

“Alright,” Chan conceded with a smile. “But if you need help with anything you can always ask. Sungie does.”

“You make it sound like I’m cheating!” Jisung protested.

“Are you?” Changbin asked. “You won’t have a Channie-hyung in your final exam.”

Both Jisung and Hyunjin shivered. Hyunjin had no doubt that that exam would be another piece of literature that left him in tears, but for entirely different reasons. He’d be spending the night in Jisung’s bed after that for sure but only time would tell if they’d be black-out drunk or not.

“Can we not mention exams,” Jisung said.

“ _Please,”_ Chan added, ushering them into the chicken shop in front of him. “Some people in my year are starting to study for them already.”

“Why?” Jisung asked. “They’ll only have forgotten it all again by the time the exam actually comes around. All night cramming is the way to go.”

Changbin laughed sadly. “I miss the days when I could learn everything in a night.”

“Multiple choice,” Chan said wistfully.

“Multiple choice,” they echoed. What Hyunjin would give to be able to blindly pick a circle and get on with his life. Now he had much more difficult choices to make, like ‘should I eat a whole chicken right now and risk drowning later?’ and ‘do I write a note to leave in _Shoko’s Smile_ in the hope Seungmin finds it or not?’. Seungmin seemed like the kind of person that would check books as they were returned to make sure they were in good condition and he’d looked at Hyunjin’s bracelet. That had to mean something, right?


	5. Chapter 5

Hyunjin tried to see Seungmin again on Thursday and Friday to no avail. He was really wasting his time when he had none to spare but he’d started this game and damn it he wanted to at least tell Seungmin his recommendation was good- mind-blowing, really. Hyunjin wasn’t going to view other people the same way ever again thanks to that book. Seungmin might actually have changed his life so he’d like to at least say thank you. It would have to wait until next week though because he had a gig to get ready for.

He didn’t really need to dress up because it was the performers he was there for and 3RACHA had already seen him in a much worse state that he could come up with this short notice but he could still make some effort. He pulled on black jeans and stared at his wardrobe. T-shirt? And if so- a tight one or a loose one? Shirt? And in that case should he wear a floaty one or a dress one? He could wear a muscle T since at least one of the boys would be but that didn’t mean he should stoop to their level. He settled on a fitted white t-shirt and a bomber jacket with flowers embroidered on the back and rushed out the door. If he got too hot he could always chuck his jacket in the corner of the stage to collect later- benefits of knowing the band.

The venue had a queue trailing along the side of the building when he arrived and Hyunjin tried to look apologetic as he walked to the front and was let in with just a mention of his name. The floor inside was filling up too so Hyunjin headed straight for the bar to get a drink while he still could.

“Baby!! I’m thirsty!!” He whined, lounging across the bar as dramatically as possible. So early in the night it wasn’t yet sticky with spilled drinks and he got a number of strange looks for his outburst. Perfect.

“Fuck off, Hyunjin-hyung!” Jeongin called from the other end of the bar where he was mixing someone a cocktail. He didn’t even look up but his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Baby!” Hyunjin continued. “Love me.”

“Oh my god,” Jeongin muttered under his breath. He handed over the cocktail and strode along the bar to whip Hyunjin’s arm with a towel. “I am _working,”_ he hissed lowly. “Can you stop?”

Hyunjin sent him a sweet smile. “I can but I won’t. Make me a cocktail?”

“Are you going to pay for it?” Jeongin asked. Hyunjin was out of luck- Jeongin was already in Friday Night No Nonsense Bartender mood. Damn.

“Fine. A _Pint of Fun_ then,” he requested. That would last a bit longer.

“Watermelon?” Jeongin asked, already starting to mix it.

“Obviously,” Hyunjin scoffed. What kind of madman chose apple or cherry? Orange was acceptable but it was a bit boring and strawberry and lime was nice but still not Hyunjin’s favourite.

“5500 won,” Jeongin said, sliding Hyunjin his drink.

“What?” Hyunjin gasped, coming out of his daydream. “It’s 5000.” He’d been coming to the union and ordering Pints of Fun long enough to know it could be paid with one bill, no charge. Another pro of the drink.

Jeongin shrugged. “Price went up. Hurry up, people are waiting.”

“If you’re trying to get a tip out of me-” Hyunjin threatened but Jeongin just took him by the jaw and redirected his gaze to their price list on the wall. Sure enough _Pint of Fun_ had a little sticker over the old price with their new extortion handwritten in bold letters.

“Tell your manager this is robbery,” Hyunjin said, sulkily tapping his card to the card reader before stalking towards the stage. He was careful not to spill any of his drink now it was five percent more expensive. Jeongin better have gone heavy on the vodka for him.

His mood was quickly lifted by 3RACHA coming out to start their set. Their energy was infectious and soon he was jumping to the beat and screaming along. He wasn’t the only one- the small dance floor was packed with students having a good time. 3RACHA just had that effect. Off-stage Jisung was goofy but easily embarrassed and shy around strangers but on stage he was full of confidence- winking and sticking his tongue out between rapid-fire verse and head bobbing to the beat when Chan and Changbin were in the spotlight. He was loving it up there with his friends and that just made the atmosphere even better. 

Hyunjin was right next to the stage because Jeongin had the misfortune to be working and Minho was away on a trip so his only remaining friends were the talent themselves.

“Awesome!” Hyunjin yelled up to Jisung in a break as the boy bent down to get a drink. There were water bottles waiting for him but the bastard picked up Hyunjin’s _Pint of Fun_ instead. “Hey! Get your own, fucker!” Hyunjin bellowed but Jisung just stepped back out of reach and passed it to Chan after taking a sip. 

“Channie-hyung! That’s _mine!”_ Hyunjin yelled to no avail- the crowd had started talking to each other with alcohol-loosened lips. Shouting was going to get him nowhere so he imagined the stage as the side of the pool and hauled himself up. Technically he wasn’t supposed to be up here but it’s not like there were bouncers inside and 3RACHA weren’t going to get him kicked off. He snatched his drink back from Chan and drained the last of it. Chan pouted but Hyunjin just glared at him.

“That was mine,” he said. “Han nicked it.”

“Oh,” Chan said with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I didn’t know. Do you want another one? I was gonna go get a round before we do our final songs.”

And that was why Chan was the best Hyung. He didn’t even know that Hyunjin had drank most of his cup before Jisung got to it and he was offering another one. Hyunjin grinned. “Watermelon Pint of Fun. You’re the best, Hyung.”

“Oooh. They do watermelon now?” Chan asked.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “Have done for a month, Hyung.” He didn’t mention the price increase. “You need to come out more.”

“I go out,” Chan protested weakly and crossed to the front of the stage where Changbin was crouched to talk to a couple of boys in the audience. Hyunjin followed Chan’s movement and the way all three boys immediately were focused on him as he no doubt offered them all free drinks. Hyunjin heard some faint Australian English intonation from one of the boys in the audience as he answered Chan but that wasn’t what caught his attention. The other boy was Seungmin. His hair was partially slicked back and his eyes were highlighted with smoky eye shadow but it was undeniably the librarian Hyunjin had been looking for for days. Well… he couldn’t let such an opportunity pass him by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have nearly reached the plot point that started this whole fic. and im sorry i needed minho on a trip bc otherwise he would steal this whole scene and it would take forever. he'll appear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see my end note for the behinds of this chapter and how the story was born!

" _You_ weren't at the library," Hyunjin yelled accusingly at Seungmin from the stage. That wasn't what he'd meant to say. It's what he'd been _thinking_ but it wasn't what he meant to say. Maybe Jeongin had been heavy-handed with the vodka.

"Pardon?" Seungmin asked.

"You weren't at the library!" Hyunjin repeated. He'd dug this hole now. "I wanted to tell you the book was great. It was great," he added now that Seungmin was in front of him.

Seungmin stared at him a little blankly. "Library?" he echoed. _Oh no, did he not remember who Hyunjin was?_ The boy next to Seungmin leaned over and whispered something in Seungmin's ear and Hyunjin's liquid courage started to fail him. Were they gossipping about him? He wanted the stage to open up and swallow him.

" _Oh!"_ Seungmin said suddenly at something the boy had told him. "You liked _Shoko's Smile._ That's good."

"I cried," Hyunjin blurted out.

Seungmin frowned. "Sorry- can you come down here or speak more clearly. I'm a bit deaf and it's really loud in here."

 _He was deaf?!_ Hyunjin stumbled to sit on the edge of the stage and Changbin had to steady him. Hyunjin brushed him off. This was his moment to shine. Finally. He'd gone to the sign club taster class in his first year and now he could put his limited knowledge to the test.

 _My. Name. H. Y. U. N. J. I. N._ he signed with clumsy hands. When he looked up Seungmin was looking at him in amusement.

"Your name is not Hyun-three-in," he said.

"Three?" Hyunjin mumbled to himself. "But I thought…"

"Hyunjin," Seungmin said, his hands moving quickly through a series of movements. " _This_ one is J." He held up his right hand with his forefinger and middle finger pointing down and his thumb out to the side. "Good effort, but you don't need to sign. Talk clearly and I can lip read what I can't hear."

"He's a little too drunk for that," Changbin apologised with a laugh, patting Hyunjin’s leg consolingly.

Hyunjin focused on remembering the correct hand sign for J. He remembered a few other pleasantries he was pretty sure of and signed _thank you_ to Seungmin for his education.

"Fuck you too," Seungmin said with a laugh, returning the gesture. "Maybe give up signing for the night, Hyunjin-ssi!"

“That wasn’t ‘thank you’?” Hyunjin asked worriedly. “I thought it was ‘thank you’.”

Seungmin frowned at him again.

“Speak clearly, dude,” the boy beside Seungmin said amiably. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a sunny smile. “Min doesn’t have his hearing aids in in here and if you’re slurring your words he’s got no hope.” The boy’s voice was unusually deep and even Hyunjin struggled to hear him in the packed room.

“Sorry,” Hyunjin said to Seungmin, mouthing the words as best he could.

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he said and signed at the same time, taking the time to show Hyunjin the sign for ‘idiot’ with his thumb on his nose and his fingers waving.

“ _I’m an idiot,”_ Hyunjin signed back and Seungmin burst out laughing. It was very cute. Hyunjin would happily call himself an idiot again for that.

“Glad we’ve got that sorted,” Changbin said sarcastically.

Chan came back with their drinks, Jisung helping him carry them, and Hyunjin jumped down to the dance floor as they started getting ready for the second half of their set. He accepted his drink from Jisung, suspicious of the low liquid level, and took a big gulp so he was less at risk of spilling it. It tasted weaker than the last one but that might be because Jeongin poured the last one or it might be that Jeongin’s last pour had lowered his ability to taste alcohol. Either way it still tasted good and would make him less self-conscious around Seungmin which was what he really needed right now.

“Good to go, Minnie?” Changbin asked Seungmin before he went back to the centre of the stage, holding up a thumb for confirmation. Seungmin took what Hyunjin had presumed was a necklace but he could now see was in-ears and put them in his ears. “Check, one, two,” Changbin mumbled into his mic and Seungmin held up a thumb. “Balance ok?” Changbin asked next. Hyunjin noticed he kept strong eye contact with Seungmin as he did so, something he didn’t do with Hyunjin.

Seungmin shrugged. “I’m not here for it to be good,” he replied. “You guys are loud but that’s ok.”

“We’re about to be louder,” Changbin grinned and stepped back to the middle of the stage to start hyping up the audience again.

Seungmin winced and took one of his in-ears out. “Is he trying to make me deafer?” he complained to the other boy. Hyunjin suddenly realised he’d been so distracted by Seungmin he hadn’t found out who this other boy was. He gently tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around.

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t catch your name. I’m Hyunjin. I’m friends with Jisung and Channie-hyung mostly,” he introduced himself.

“I’m Felix!” the boy replied, having to shout as the crowd cheered at something Jisung said. “I know 3RACHA through Seungmin,” he said, gesturing at the third boy who was already jumping up and down and shouting along to the song playing. “Nice to meet you!”

Hyunjin nodded, giving up on conversation for now. It sounded like they might also hang around at the end of the gig to wait for the performers so he could talk more then. Instead he started to dance, raising an eyebrow at Felix in challenge. Felix’s grin widened and he moved too. He was _good_ and Hyunjin soon lost track of time as they tried to one up each other and get Seungmin to copy them as well.

***

“Have you been swimming down there, Hyunjinnie?” Chan said jokingly, using his hand towel to pat the sweat from Hyunjin’s face. The show was over and most of the crowd had left, leaving only friends of the band and staff still lingering

“Dance off,” Hyunjin said breathlessly. “I won.”

“No, you fucking did not,” Felix retorted. “Seungmin!” he called to the other boy who was handing his in-ears back to Changbin with all the wires and battery pack Hyunjin hadn’t realised he had on him. “Ah, fuck,” Felix said, noticing what was happening. He changed tack. “Binnie-hyung!” Changbin glanced up. “Send me Minnie!”

“What?” Seungmin asked as he joined them.

“Who was the better dancer,” Felix said, gesturing between him and Hyunjin. He then, not too subtly, pointed to himself.

“Me,” Seungmin replied with a laugh. “I’m the best!”

“Seungmin jjang!” Hyunjin agreed, giving him a thumbs up.

“Don’t _agree_ with him!” Felix complained. “I study theatre. I can’t lose a dance battle to the deaf kid! I’ll be bullied for weeks.”

“Felix also jjang!” Hyunjin giggled, holding his other thumb up for Felix.

“Jesus, how much _Fun_ did you have,” Jisung muttered, slapping Hyunjin on the cheek lightly as he passed with a stack of empty cups.

“Only two pints!” Hyunjin called after him in protest.

“You normally spew at three, right?” Chan asked warily.

“Four,” Hyunjin argued. “That was one time.”

“It was one time on my carpet,” Chan argued. “I have a right to be cautious when we’re going to mine again tonight.”

“We are?” Felix asked. “Yes! _Gonna nick all your chips, mate._ Dancing made me hungry.”

Chan frowned at that and would have protested but Seungmin gently tugged at his elbow. It must be difficult to follow with them all speaking and not facing the right way as well as the clatter of chairs being stacked in the background. Chan made a motion so quickly Hyunjin would have dismissed it as a scratch if he hadn’t been looking for it. Chan first pointed to himself and touched his fingertips together to form a steeple. That must be the sign for ‘house’ then. Hyunjin tried to remember it but there was a good chance half the night would end up hazy by morning.

Jisung came back from the bar with Jeongin in tow. Jeongin had his coat and bag on, eager to leave work. Unfortunately, it took a while for that to happen because Chan disappeared again and Changbin hadn’t reappeared from the sound booth.

“Hyung!” Jeongin whined when they’d all shuffled in the direction of the door and Chan was still missing. “Noona let me go early so I could _leave._ It’s pointless if you do my job for me!”

“I’ll just be a minute!” Chan called back.

“Does anybody have his spare house key?” Seungmin asked. They all knew it would be more than a minute.

“I do!” Jisung said. “Minho-hyung trusts me too much.”

“You stole it, didn’t you?” Changbin said with a knowing sigh.

“No!” Jisung exclaimed. “Hyung _gave it to me_ before he left so I could go steal his food. He only left healthy food though so I just slept in his bed.”

“Who cares,” Jeongin interrupted. “Let’s just go.” He was eager to get his weekend started. “Channie-hyung we’re going to trash your apartment! Ok bye!” And with that he dragged Hyunjin out the door with him.

“Wait!” Chan wailed from somewhere in the back. Jeongin walked faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anybody else catch in the eariler chapters that Seungmin 'ignored' Hyunjin a lot or asked him to repeat himself? you might want to reread the first chapter with fresh eyes
> 
> explanation time!!
> 
> how this story came to be: I saw somewhere that Hyunjin used sign on a video call he thought a stay was deaf and he answered a deaf concern in a vlive once which i found very sweet. and my personal experience with the deaf community- my high school librarian was deaf and ran a sign club at lunch time! it was really fun and I once managed to ask for a book in sign. Seungmin is the most bookish so- seungjin.
> 
> the in-ears: theres a HOH youtuber I watch (andrew huang) and he has earphones that are set to personally match his hearing loss chart to give him the best balance of the sound. I thought 3RACHA might be able to programme their music for Seungmin to enjoy a concert with everyone since ive seen they can ask for their feedback to be increased or decreased. The track would have to go through some sort of alternation as well but i bet they could do that.
> 
> signs: KSL has a surprising amount of overlap with ASL and BSL. makes sense but fun to find out. Finger spelling in KSL is very easy bc it mimics the characters well but i think if the J sign is facing up instead of down its 3. I couldn't find 'fuck you' in KSL but I know that 'fuck you' and 'thank you' are both similar open palm chin touch movements in ASL so I used that. for my sign descriptions I might end up using a mix of what I know/can find from ASL and KSL


	7. Chapter 7

“Aren’t you supposed to be a dancer?” Changbin groused as he walked into Hyunjin again. He just couldn’t seem to manage walking in a straight line tonight. 

“I _am_ a dancer,” Hyunjin retorted, holding onto Changbin’s arm to stop them both careening into the road. “I’ve got the membership card and everything.” He fumbled for his wallet but it was surprisingly difficult to open. 

“Jesus, Hyunnie,” Jisung said, appearing to his right and slapping his hand away. “Put that away before you throw your credit card down the storm drain.”

“Changbin-hyung doesn’t believe I’m a dancer!” Hyunjin exclaimed. This was a travesty that had to be corrected immediately. “And I _am_ a dancer. I have the membership card.”

“Yeah, we know,” Jisung said with a roll of his eyes. He took Hyunjin’s wallet off of him and shoved it in his own pocket. “We’ve been to your end of term performances, idiot. Hyung was commenting on your inability to walk in a straight line. Jesus fuck,” he cursed and grabbed onto Hyunjin’s jacket as Hyunjin turned the corner. “Wrong street. Are you really that smashed?”

“ _No,”_ Hyunjin venomously disagreed. He was talking and walking, wasn’t he? And not throwing up on anybody’s carpet.

Jisung clearly didn’t believe him. “Innie! What did you spike him with?”

Jeongin’s breathy cackle echoed off the walls of the narrow street and it was like there were five of him surrounding Hyunjin. “He got an extra shot in his first pint but that was it. He should be _thanking_ me for that! You hear me, Hyung? You owe me for being so nice!”

“He did only have two pints, right?” Jisung asked as if Hyunjin wasn’t there.

“ _Yes,”_ Hyunjin answered, brushing off the hands on him. “I’m fine!”

“You’re getting a glass of water when we get in,” Jisung told him and dragged him across a road. “And probably some bread to- wait- you didn’t have dinner before you came out, did you?” he accused.

“I was busy!” Hyunjin protested. Not everyone could use a gig as extra credit like Jisung.

“When did you last eat?” Jisung interrogated him. “Beyond study sweets?”

 _Damn._ “Uhh, lunchtime?” Hyunjin havered. “Like… two?” It was definitely before two because he’d had a class then.

“Ahh, so a mere nine hours ago,” Changbin piped up on Hyunjin’s other side. “And your only meal since then was two _Pints of Fun_ with extra vodka? Brilliant, Hyunnie.” It was said with exasperated fondness and Hyunjin wasn’t too worried because he knew they’d look after him. 

“He’ll eat anything,” Jisung told Changbin as if Hyunjin wasn’t there again. “We can order takeout to share when we get in.”

“I want jokbal,” Hyunjin interrupted. If Jisung was ordering they’d only get weird seafood shit.

“Yeah, ok,” Jisung said dismissively. “You’re eating other stuff too though. Rice.”

They had somehow appeared at Chan’s front door though Hyunjin was a little hazy on the route they took. It was black and unassuming and Hyunjin leant on it while Jisung fumbled to find which of Minho’s spare keys went in the lock. With some threats, a prayer and a little force he got it unlocked and shoved Hyunjin inside in front of him. 

“Binnie- watch him,” Hyunjin heard behind him. He didn’t need _watching_ and he took off up the stairs to prove it. Changbin couldn’t take the stairs three at a time. _He_ could. The person that caught him when a stair swam in his vision half a flight up wasn’t Changbin though.

“Impressive reach, but how about we go two at a time the rest of the way up?” Seungmin suggested with an amused smile. Hyunjin agreed only because taking them in threes made his thighs burn and Seungmin’s hand was pressed against his back. Also the stairs were blurring together.

“The stairs are blurry,” he told Seungmin and Seungmin’s other hand came to hold his bicep tightly.

“I have no idea what you just said,” Seungmin said cheerfully. “One foot in front of the other. Come on.”

  


Hyunjin was deposited on Chan’s couch which was far slippier than usual and he promptly tipped over. Jisung righted him again with a tug and put a tupperware of chopped watermelon on his lap. 

“Eat,” he commanded before walking off again. It was a lot of watermelon but Hyunjin liked watermelon and he liked stabbing it with a chopstick so he got to work. Felix eventually took the tupperware away from him again which was probably for the best. He wasn’t really enjoying it anymore. And he needed to pee. He announced this to the room and Changbin walked him to the bathroom. 

“Don’t piss up the walls,” he was warned before Changbin turned away for his privacy.

  


Things got a little clearer after that and he realised that Minho and Chan had both returned to their apartment, Minho with a suitcase.

“Minho-hyung!” Hyunjin called, making a bee-line for his friend. Or at least that’s what he told his legs to do. “I met a cute librarian and he was really mean to me.”

Minho looked a little surprised to see him but opened his arms to let Hyunjin fall against him. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said. He wasn’t sure anymore where he’d been going with that point. “And the price of _Fun_ went up. It’s been really sad without you here.”

Minho hummed in sympathy and patted his hair, letting Hyunjin sit on his lap. “Sungie said you were crying at a book and got extra homework.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin sighed into Minho’s sweater. He smelled like bus. “How was the…fight?” Minho had gone to represent the university somewhere but at that moment Hyunjin couldn’t remember if it had been martial arts or maths that time.

“The nerd competition?” Minho laughed. “We came 2nd. I got a stupid medal. It’s in my bag.”

“How are you so good at school?” Hyunjin whined. “You and Channie-hyung just, like, do _everything_. I didn’t manage to do my essay _or_ eat dinner today and I was supposed to do both.”

“You’re getting dinner now though,” Minho said, pulling Hyunjin upright so he could get his arms around him to cuddle properly. “And you can get caught up on uni work this weekend. I’ve got to do stuff too so you can come with me and I’ll make sure you’re staying focused.”

“You’re the best, Hyungie,” Hyunjin told him. “The best. I love you.”

“Yeah and you better remember it,” Minho said. “Now get off. You’re heavy and I want a shower.”

Hyunjin clung tighter and Minho eventually had to waddle them over to the couch so he could transfer Hyunjin to Jeongin for his freedom. Jeongin was not in the slightest bit pleased with this arrangement but he’d had most of a beer so he was less grouchy and let Hyunjin sit on him while he continued his conversation with Felix. Hyunjin didn’t know that they knew each other. Maybe they didn’t. 

“Sung!” Hyunjin called to the apartment at large. 3RACHA seemed to have disappeared. “When is the jokbal getting here?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone asked 3racha a while a go. I couldn't not

MEANWHILE

Jisung ducked into Chan’s room, intending to ask about the food, and stopped dead in his tracks. Chan and Changbin were standing right in front of him, too close for it to be anything but romantic. As well as that, Changbin’s hand was cradling Chan’s cheek as they kissed softly with their eyes closed. Jisung’s chest was suddenly tight and he struggled to draw breath. _What-? How-? When-?_ None of those thoughts were finished as their eyes opened at the sound of the door and they caught him standing there like a rabbit in the headlights.

“Sung!” Changbin said in surprise, pulling back from Chan. “This isn’t-”

Jisung was hurt. That’s what he was feeling- hurt. It hurt that they hadn’t told him, hurt that they hadn’t even mentioned that they liked each other. They told each other everything, or at least he _thought_ they told each other everything. They knew all his deepest fears and his biggest dreams but they hadn’t even bothered to tell him he was the third wheel. They’d actually _hidden_ it from him.

“Sungie,” Changbin said gently, pulling him into a tight hug he didn’t want, not from him. Still, he couldn’t pull away. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying!” Jisung protested but his voice broke. Maybe he was crying. Chan was certainly reaching up to wipe something wet off his cheeks. “Let me go!” He couldn’t let go of Changbin’s hoodie though. 

“We were going to tell you,” Chan said. His expression was soft as he looked at Jisung which was impressive because Jisung knew he was an ugly crier and he was really crying now. “I promise. We were going to tell you tomorrow.”

“Are you going to ask me to leave?” Jisung hiccuped through his tears. That was his new worst fear, all of a sudden bumping ‘deep water’ out of the top spot, - that 3RACHA would be over now. He didn’t offer anything they couldn’t do already by themselves and he’d just be in the way now. But 3RACHA was his everything. Every plan he had for the future had the three of them together. 

Changbin tightened his grip on Jisung’s ribs and tucked his face into Jisung’s neck. Meanwhile, Chan shook his head quickly. “God no. We-” he paused and suddenly made a face of disgust. “Bin, did you fart?”

“I’m nervous!” Changbin exclaimed in defense.

“Jesus, that’s toxic,” Chan muttered and pulled away. “Fuck.” He rolled over his bed and pushed his window open in one smooth motion, sticking his head out to gulp fresh air. “And in my bedroom too.”

“Sorry,” Changbin said sheepishly, stepping back from Jisung. He met Jisung’s eyes and quickly dropped his gaze. “Sorry.”

“For the fart or for dating Channie-hyung?” Jisung asked, sniffing. “‘Cos I can’t smell the fart. I’ve been crying too much.” He wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

“We’re not dating,” Changbin said. “It’s…” He glanced across to Chan who had stuck his head out the window again. “it’s kinda new. We’ve not talked about it yet.”

That made Jisung feel a little better. “So how….?” How did you work out you liked each other? How long has this been going on? How have I missed it all?

“Bin wrote a song,” Chan said, risking the air in the room again. He still stayed at the other side of the bed though. “I wasn’t supposed to hear it.”

“You wrote a love song about Channie-hyung?” Jisung asked gleefully. He couldn’t wait to read that- it would be prime roasting material.

“Oh, no,” Chan started, a grin breaking across his face.

“Hyung, no,” Changbin whined desperately. They knew something else Jisung didn’t.

“Sungie,” Chan said, ignoring Changbn’s plees. “Sungie, it’s about _both_ of us.”

“You wrote a love song about _me!_?” Jisung squeaked. 

Changbin went very still and stared at the ground. “Sorry,” he said again. 

Jisung didn’t know what to think. Changbin liked him. Changbin liked him the same way he liked Chan and he’d just seen him kissing Chan. Did that mean Changbin wanted to kiss him? Jisung liked kisses. He liked kisses a lot but he’d never kissed Changbin. It just… never seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe…

“Can I hear the song?” Jisung asked.

“It’s only a guide,” Changbin said quickly. “And it’s really not that good. Also, forewarning, I just farted again.”

“Biiiin,” Chan moaned. “Surely you should have gotten rid of all your nervous farts before the gig.”

“Making sure Sungie doesn’t hate me is a lot more stressful than a gig!” Changbin exclaimed.

“I don’t hate you,” Jisung said.

“I’m still stressed!” Changbin replied, his voice pitch rising.

“I’ll put you outside if you keep farting,” Chan threatened.

“I can’t help it!” Changbin protested.

“I can’t _breathe,”_ Chan retorted.

“Sung!” Hyunjin’s voice was muffled through the wall. “When is the jokbal getting here?”

They froze, suddenly reminded of the world outside Chan’s room. Jisung sniffed and wiped under his eyes, doing his best to undo the evidence that he’d been crying. It was kind of futile because his face always got red but maybe he could blame that on the alcohol.

“Soon!” he called back to Hyunjin before anybody could come to find him. They didn’t have long though considering they were the ones that had brought all these people together for a gathering and some of them hadn’t met each other before tonight. 

“Can we do this later?” he asked the other two boys in the room. He wasn’t entirely sure what ‘this’ was but it was going to take more time that they had right now. It would give him time to work out what the hell he thought of his groupmates too because apparently their dynamics were not entirely platonic. “Preferably without the noxious gas.”

“Please,” Chan agreed. He still hadn’t left the window. “Can you honestly not smell it?” 

“I’m starting to now,” Jisung admitted. “Which is why I think we should evacuate.”

“Wait-” Changbin said. “You’re not mad though?”

“About what?” Jisung asked. “I want to hear that love song before I decide if it’s ok or not but I don’t mind that you wrote it. And it would have been nice to know that you and Channie-hyung are…”

“We don’t know what it is yet,” Chan interrupted.

“That you’re interested in each other,” Jisung continued, “so I’m not some kind of idiot third wheel, but I’m not mad.” He had never been mad at them. Hurt, yes, scared, yes, but never mad. “3RACHA _is_ still a thing, right?” he added in a flash of panicked uncertainty.

“God yes,” Chan said.

“Definitely,” Changbin agreed. “If you still want to work with us.”

“Obviously,” Jisung replied. “Who else am I going to share my deepest darkest thoughts with? Hyunjin?”

“You could,” Changbin said. “I’m not sure he’d remember anything you told him tonight but you could.”

“God, he’s so wasted,” Jisung said fondly and as if summoned Hyunjin started yelling again.

“Jisungiiiiie! Where did you gooooo? Where’s the foooood?”


End file.
